The Chaotic Network

I can go with no beer for long periods of time, but my TV is my baby and…today…my baby DIED!!!!

I was at workdoing work things (like surfing the web for porn) when my phone rang.  It was my wife and she began to tell me that there was a loud pop sound and the TV went black!!  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!????  I was immediately full of rage and I wanted to yell out so all could hear my displeasure, but all that came out was a quiet “fuck”.

I killed the porn on the screen and frantically typed in the address for the Toshiba website, I clicked on Support, then Warranty…Lamp covered for one year.  I then remembered that I had chosen the extended warranty when I bought my TV!!

“I’m saved!!”, I exclaimed aloud.  I then called my wife and asked if she had looked at the Warranty information…she started crying.  She told me that the rep at the store had confirmed that the lamp was not covered as it is considered a consummable item.

After I got off the phone with her I called Toshiba!  Press 1 for English, Press 2 if you are a customer, *RING*

Toshiba Dick - “Hello, this is a douch bag.”;  “How may I help you?”

Me  - “Yeah, my TV made a loud POP sound and the screen went black!”

Toshiba Dick - “Really?”

Me - “Yeah, really!”

Toshiba Dick - “That’s too bad, thanks for your money ass-wipe!!”

Me - “What??”; “My TV is only two years old!!!”

Toshiba Dick - “You’re lucky that it lasted that long!”

Me - “What do I do now?”

Toshiba Dick - “Bend over my friend and take a deep breath!!”

Ok, maybe the converation didn’t sound quite like that, but still I got fucked by a big corporation because I didn’t want to send $6000 on a flat screen LCD TV.  Instead I ended up buying a Rear Projection TV for $2300 plus the $400 kiss my ass peice of crap Futureshop extended warranty!

It just goes to show that we are slaves to technology and will lose our minds if it gets messed up.  By the way, I’m buying a new lamp for $200 on Thursday.

Bitches!

Superfly out.

Hey people!  There is an awesome movie coming out called “The Watchmen”.  Check out the trailer, this is one that shouldn’t disappoint!

This movie is based a great 12 issue comic book series by Alan Moore.

If so, then this is the alarm clock for that loved one!  The Gun O’clock is an alarm clock that has a target that pops up out of the top when the alarm goes off which you can shoot with an infrared gun.  To help antagonize you the clock emits a voice that says, “Come on!”.  This fine product can be purchased for a measly $35 in Japan from Bandai.  At this time there is no release date for the rest of us saps who have to smack that snooze button.  I still love it!!

I had a user call me this morning, it went something like this:

Me: “G’morning, IT Department.”
User: “I need to know if you have any spare notebooks?”
Me: “Why?”
User: “I need to know before I tell you.”
Me: (Getting a bit pissed) “I might have something, but tell me why you’re asking!”
User: “Well…I ran over my notebook.”
Me: *LMAO silently*
User: “I thought it was in the trunk…and I backed over it.”
Me: “You’re *beep* kidding me right?”

Needless to say, my boss was pissed that the user did something so dumb!  The user’s supervisor approved the purchase of a new notebook and surprising enough the old one was still working!!  The screen was destroyed, but I was able to get it to display onto an external monitor.  I told the user that he was lucky and that this is why I like to buy ThinkPad notebooks as they are tougher than most.  Lenovo might make ugly notebooks compared to Dell and HP, but they take anything you throw at them and more!

I just finished watching a morning news special discussing new computer products on the market for kids.  The “expert” they had was a sales guy from Future Shop???  My two year old could have done a better job!  He started off with an entry level Compaq notebook that he then said was good for Gamers.  He also had a digital camera that he said, “Has many mega-pixels!”  It was funny how he made Bluetooth sound like it was a magical new way to connect your computer to your devices.

What the hell is wrong with these people?!?!  With maybe the exception of a few of them, VERY FEW, none of them know anything about computers!!  They either make it up as they go (because a lot of customers know nothing) or quickly browse the Web during their breaks.  That is one problem with “Big Box” stores, but I won’t get into that right now.

Everyone needs a tech buddy to help them out from time to time!  Just remember, we are not your pets or slaves so thank us with food, booze, or money…yeah money is good too! 

I came across the coolest looking controller mod for the Xbox 360 controller!  The mod was done by F00 f00 over at AcidMods, you can find cool mods for other consoles as well.  Check out the video to see it in action!

You might be a stupid driver if:

You cut accross three lanes of traffic to get to your exit because you were too busy to notice the exit sign!

You try to merge with the car beside you because you don’t check your blind spot!

You get mad at the guy in front of you for stopping and making you spill your coffee, but you weren’t paying attention because you were on your cell phone!!

You stop in the intersection on a green light because you think someone might hit you from the other direction, but you don’t look to see if someone is behind you!!!
(Happened to me the other day!  What the hell?!?!?!?!!)

Your lane is ending and you don’t want to get stuck behind the transport beside you so instead of speeding up to get some distance you just cut him off.  (I saw a SMART Car do this, not too smart!)

I have more I’m sure, but that is enough for now!  Please tell me your experiences on the road.

I’ve lost track of all the times that I’ve been asked a question that is so freaking simple that if the person took a few minutes to look it up themselves they’d learn something?!  Things like:

“How do I configure security on a wireless router?” or “How do I setup a home network?”

So maybe those questions aren’t that simple for most people, but what about these:

“How do I make a shortcut?”
“How do I cut & paste?”
“Where is the ANY key?”
“Where do I put a CD?”
“How do I make this picture my screen saver?”

I actually had a guy call me because he couldn’t stand up to get the instructions I had given him off of the shelf!!  He said that it was easier to call me!?!?!!  I also had a guy come tell me that all of his emails for the last two weeks had disappeared, he was so upset that I felt bad.  Do you know what it was??  The listing was just collapsed and all I did was…EXPAND IT…it even said Two Weeks Ago with a little  (+) sign beside it!!!!

I also love the print problems, but that’s for another time!

I love my xbox 360!

I can play video games by myself, against friends, and even against complete strangers in other parts of the world!

I can watch movies, whether they are on a DVD or streamed from my PC!

I can watch TV shows that aren’t broadcast in Canada due to the jackasses at the CRTC not liking them because they aren’t made in Canada or CBC is too slow to show a new season!!  I’m talking about Doctor Who and Torchwood!  Well guess what bitches?!?!?!?!!  I can get them from the web and watch them on my XBOX 360!!!!  (Don’t worry BBC, I buy the DVDs too.) 

That’s why I love my xbox!

Oh yeah…I LOVE GTA IV TOO!!!

I have arrived!!  I’ve watched my wife blog for three years now, so I figured it’s time for me to jump in.  My wife puts up with me in real life and now it’s time for me to share my insites and bitching online, sorry baby!

I believe in free speech so I will allow comments on my blog posts and I’d like to know other peoples opinions.  The theme will vary on a daily basis as I have many interests and…ooooh…something shiny in the distance…later!